The following paragraph is from the Chief End for Which God Created the World 8. It is meant to give context.
“We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?”
Last time we looked at the text which tells us that the husband is to love the wife as Christ loved the Church (Eph 5:25-30). If we look at the issue of loving as something that flows from the character of God instead of behavior alone of some form of elevated feelings, we can see that loving and therefore marriage is in some way linked with the life and love of God in the person and in the marriage. So last time we looked at I John 4:7-12 and tried to look at the source of love. Now we must link the source of love to that of love in the marriage and of God’s terminal purpose or chief end in creating all things and especially human beings.
What we want to see at the moment is that the command to love as Christ loved is not a new command in Scripture. We see it in other passages and other contexts. For example, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another” (John 13:34). John 15 also gives us the same language: 9 “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.” 10 “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. 11 “These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. 12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.”
We can see from the above text that God’s love is the standard for how to love one another. The Church has been loved by Christ “just as the Father has loved Me.” The command and standard to love one another is to do that “just as I have loved you.” To love a wife as Christ loved the Church is to love the wife as the Father loved Christ. Christ had as His model and as the life of love in Him the love of the Father. This shows us very clearly that the Father of love is God the Father and His love flows to human beings through Christ. We can see this in another way from Ephesians 5:1-2: “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; 2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.” The command to love any other human beings is always just as Christ loved and as He was loved. But if this is true, does that mean that a husband has no greater obligation to love his wife than to any other human being?
We must be very careful while admitting that all believers are to love all other believers as Christ loved them. He loved as He was loved by the Father. But within the marriage there is a special intimacy which is reserved for and is to be between the husband and the wife. The husband is to love His wife and is to be one with His wife as Christ loved His Bride (the Church) and is one with Her. As the husband and wife are counted as one and are to live in a oneness of love and unity, this is to picture what Christ is to the Church. Unbelievers should be able to see the oneness of Christ and His Church when they see the Church. The love of Christ for His Bride is not in unbelievers. As I John 4:7-8 sets out, only those that are born of God and know God have the love of God in them and actually love with real love. It is not that God does not have a general benevolence toward the world, but that He does not unite Himself to the world in love. But He does unite Himself and becomes one with His people in Christ and by the Spirit. The husband is to give himself to the wife and desire unity in love with her. In this the glory of Christ and His love for the Church should be seen. In this God’s chief end is seen in the display of His love.
God Loves... Himself 
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