The following paragraph is from the Chief End for Which God Created the World 8 (Marriage). It is meant to give context.
We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers in much the same way as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?
The concept of Christian marriage has at best barely survived the onslaught of a form of Christian culture. Within the culture of the world marriage is a thing of feelings and convenience. While that is not a good or biblical view of marriage, I am not sure that it is any more deceptive than the popular Christian view. The so-called Christian culture has a view of marriage that is in one sense a reaction to the world’s view of marriage. The polarization started many years ago and continues on through the present day. The problem is that the biblical model is ignored on both sides, though many profess to the use of the Bible. Indeed they use the Bible, but for selfish ends.
While the culture of the world has changed the view of marriage according to its own whims and desires, the Christian culture view has changed the biblical view to one that is nothing more than behavioral and much like the view of the Pharisees. It is thought by many that a husband that does certain things according to the Bible pleases God in what he does. It is also thought that a woman that does certain things according to the Bible pleases God in what she does. The Pharisees thought they pleased God in what they did. But all of those views miss the real point which is that no one can please God and no one can keep the commands of God apart from Jesus Christ. The professing believer must understand that the commands of God regarding marriage cannot be kept any more than the Greatest Commandment can be kept perfectly and apart from the work of the Spirit in the soul. Any view or counseling technique that puts the power of obedience in the hands of sinful human beings is simply wrong.
The Christian culture of marriage has a major flaw in that it does leave the power of obedience in the power of human beings. We are told that it is a matter of choices. We are told that love is nothing more than the action and we need not worry about the feelings. While the world things that love is nothing more than feelings, many within Christianity think that it is nothing more than behavior. Both are utterly unbiblical and appalling. Love is from God and from God alone. No matter how high a view one has of marriage, it must be taught that love is not within the power of human beings but is from God alone. If one spouse does not love the other, then that person either does not know God at all or has a hardened heart. It is that plain and simple. The answer is to seek God for a broken heart and the Spirit to work love in the heart. It is not a matter of choosing to perform outward functions; it is a matter of the work of God in the soul. Each person must go to God humbly and seek Him for true love.
One of the great tragedies of marriage in the modern day is the separation of the marital counseling and theory from biblical theology. Marriage will not be seen in its biblical power until there is a return to true biblical theology. The Bible is not just a handbook on how to behave in certain areas of life; it is the revelation of the living God on how man is to live as an expression of the glory of God. The Christian view is to declare with energy and love that marriage is far beyond the powers of any and all human beings apart from Christ and the work of the Spirit. It is only then that humanity can begin to see that it is to be broken of its own strength in order to have a biblical marriage. God opposes the proud in all areas, not just some. Within the churches of the day there is a huge amount of pride in the area of marriage by people thinking it is just behavior. Only when people are humbled and broken will they live in marriage by grace. Only then will the glory of God be expressed through them.
God Loves... Himself 
Leave a comment