The following paragraph is from the Chief End for Which God Created the World 8 (Marriage). It is meant to give context.
We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers in much the same way as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?
In trying to conclude the concept of marriage as it relates to the glory of God, we must say it with all the vigor and conviction that we are given by God to say that marriage is the creation of God as a means to express and manifest His glory. It is not just part of a system of morality that man can do in his own power that in some way demonstrates that he believes in God or thinks that God’s ways make for him a happier life. Marriage is part of creation and creation was intended by God to manifest His glory. The terminal purpose for marriage is found in God’s terminal purpose. Whatever God’s terminal purpose in marriage is determines the most important purpose for marriage in the realm of human beings. Marriage must be approached in theory and practice from the knowledge that it is for the display of the glory of God. That is utterly vital.
Some might smile quietly and simply wonder what that would change. It changes everything. No longer does counseling focus on the felt needs of the man or woman as such and tell one spouse that s/he needs to meet the needs of the other, but instead it tells them that each of them individually and that they corporately exist to manifest the glory of God. The greatest need that any person has is God. Following from that is the need that people have to seek God to fulfill their created purpose and that is to manifest the glory of God. This focus shows us that we cannot glorify God by our actions and duties, but that we only glorify God when He expresses Himself through us. It delivers us from legalism and moralism that is rampant in the religious realm and shows us what it really means to have Christ as our life in real terms. It shows us that salvation is not just a small event, but is rather is the eternal purpose of God in saving people to be His temple so that He might display His glory through them.
If marriage is approached as nothing more than outward morality, then the life of Christ in the soul is missed. Marriage becomes a ritual instead of being the glory of God expressed. The couple takes on ritualistic and perhaps legalistic patterns and thinks that God is pleased when they do so. A good moral marriage apart from the purpose of God in marriage really turns out to be nothing more than moralism. People think that they are pleasing God because they are outwardly moral and do moral things in marriage. But is simply just another way that man has found to express the nature of the Pharisee that is so bound up in the proud nature of fallen man. An outwardly moral marriage does not make a person moral any more than keeping the external laws makes a person moral. The only true morality is the love of God dwelling in a person and then being expressed through the person. Marriage is only moral when it is the expression of the love of God through Christ and by the power of the Spirit.
Christianity is really far from what it is set out to be in the Bible. We have much teaching of aspects of the Bible in books and on CD’s and other forms. But it appears to be mainly focused on the morality of behaving in a certain way and in doing things certain ways which please God. But that misses the real point for humanity, marriage, and the Church which is to be the temple of God by which He displays Himself and His glory. A man cannot love his wife as Christ loved the Church apart from the life of Christ in Him loving the wife through Him. The submission of the wife to the husband must also come from Christ as well. Apart from that life of Christ in us, morality is simply outward works without the heart. That is the life of the Pharisee in marriage and not Christ.
God Loves... Himself 
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