Despair is the growth of pride, and not of humility. Why are we overwhelmed with doubts and fears? Because we are unworthy. Is it not plain, therefore, that we look for a worthiness in ourselves, which we neither have nor ever shall have? (Thomas Adam, Private Thoughts on Religion)
“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)
A person that has despair is actually guilty of the sin of pride. This may not be a popular opinion, but that does not change the truth and reality of it. In the modern day we would think that the person with despair has some form of depression and send them off to a psychologist or even for medication. The reality of the matter, however, while there are different forms of despair, is that a person with despair is most likely full of pride.
Why do people despair? Adam points out that it is because we are unworthy. A person that has what is thought of as low self-esteem may be thought to need a higher self-esteem, which ends up trying to get the person to feel better by being pumped up with positive thoughts about self. Now all the positive thoughts in the world cannot make a person that is unworthy in reality (as all men are by the Fall) worthy in reality. All those positive thoughts can do is deceive the person about who s/he really is. The facts of Scripture are really quite clear for those who desire to look deeper into the matter. No one is worthy of anything but everlasting hell. All the good things we receive in this life is not because we are worthy, but because God is patient, merciful, and kind.
Despair, then, in many cases is simply the soul trying to find some worthiness in itself as opposed to bowing in humility before God and receiving all things by the grace of God. This is to say that the soul wants to find, do, and obtain things based on itself rather than the character of God. The soul wants to find, do, and obtain things based on its own worthiness, yes, but also obtain them as it pleases and desires. This is also to say that the soul wants to obtain mercy and grace as it pleases.
As one looks throughout the Scriptures one can see all people broken down into two kinds. There are those who look to themselves and trust in themselves and those who trust in grace. When a person realizes that s/he is unworthy, that person will either despair of self and trust in grace or simply work harder to obtain worth or merit. This is nothing more than an attempt to trust in self rather than grace. But a person that truly trusts in grace is a person that has accepted the truth about self and knows that all good that is received is received by grace.
There are those who are coming under conviction of sin and they begin to despair of hope, but in reality they are growing in the understanding that they must have God have mercy on them as He pleases. Those under the conviction of sin will struggle and flail about looking for some reason to hope in themselves, but that is really nothing but pride trying to find a way to obtain grace or hope of grace based in self. In the history of the Church we see many people brought low under the weight of the conviction of sin that would today be thought of as mental illness. However, many of those found hope in the grace of God rather than hope in high thoughts of self.
While the modern thinking is set against people who come under deep conviction of sin and groan and weep because of their sin, modern thinking in this matter is wrong and is harmful to the eternal souls of human beings. People must be brought to see that they are unworthy and can never be worthy of the least kindness and mercy of God. A person must be brought to an end of self and the worthiness of self in order to understand the nature of Divine grace. The glorious doctrine of grace alone teaches us that God saves sinners and bestows all spiritual blessings upon them because of grace and grace alone. This demands that souls reach a point where they trust in nothing but grace and to do that they must not think of themselves as having any worthiness in them at all.
The soul that looks upon itself as having worthiness before God is a soul that is deceived and is lifting itself up in pride to God. The Scriptures are plain that God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble, but despite that people continue to try to find worthiness in themselves. They want to believe that Christ went to the cross because of the worthiness of human beings rather than the worthiness of God to glorify His name. This is an abominable pride hiding under the guise of orthodoxy, yet the soul that desires worthiness in itself has that same pride.
God Loves... Himself 
Leave a comment