We are often more ashamed than grieved and humbled for our sins. Our own consciousness of them, and of God’s being privy to them, does not pain us near so much as it would to have them known to others. See, therefore, whether what you call your penitence is not more pride than anything else. (Thomas Adam, Private Thoughts on Religion)
“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)
It would shock the heart of most religious people to be told that their very penitence is more pride than of anything else. It may be that on judgment day the vast majority of people who have had any degree of penitence will be told that their very penitence was nothing but pride. The feelings that arise in our hearts must be interpreted correctly and pride is a great hindrance to correct interpretation. Our pride will always hide itself (pride) from us and so it will hide itself under the guise of religious feeling. Oh the deception of our hearts. When we feel something for sin, we think we are grieved for them but instead we are grieved that we were found out. We may think that we are ashamed before God, but in reality we are ashamed that some other human found out that we sinned.
It may also be the case that our own consciousness of our sin may make us ashamed that we are that way, but can still lead to more pride than it does of true repentance before God. We can feel something about our sin when we realize that our sin is before God, but that does not mean that we are penitent over our sin as in the presence of God. Our hearts can hide behind pride and deceive us that what we feel because we have sinned against God is indeed being grieved and humbled for sin, but the reality of the matter can be far different. We can simply be grieved that we have been caught and so our pride turns it to what we know is best for us.
But how horrible our pride is when our sin is found out by human beings. Oh how much remorse and shame we feel, but it is not true grief for sin, but still just grief that we have been found out. The heart full of pride, however, will interpret its own grief as a true grief for sin as against God. Oh how the heart full of pride and headed for hell will deceive itself at all possible times. The heart that is full of pride is capable of any sin but in a religious heart or a civil heart pride will keep that heart doing what is right out of pride rather than out of love for God. Pride is bad enough as it blinds us to our sin, but it is even worse when it uses religion and morality to hide behind.
Since pride is so hard to see and is such a chameleon to itself, one would think that people would wake up and seek the Lord for a true sight of the heart. The heart is full of self and pride and works hard to deceive itself in order not to be discovered by the light. It can take a lot of time, prayer, and meditation on the Word to begin to see the working of pride in our own hearts. Our wickedness in our self-love is hidden from us with many foul justifications and we just do on in self-love which is nothing less than idolatry. Oh the foul issue that comes from the heart that is full of pride, yet it appears that no one really knows this or wants to know this.
It appears that the modern professing “Church” is full of proud people rather than those that are truly humble. This means that pride is what is running the professing “Church” rather than the humble Savior. When the churches are full of proud hearts are only grieved for sin when they are discovered by men rather than because it is against God, the churches are being run by the devil rather than Christ. The devil functions and operates from a wicked self-love and his children do the same damnable thing. We are commanded to love God with all of our being and that includes our conviction of sin and why we are to be grieved for our sin. But when we are only grieved when pride is pricked, we can know that the devil is in control.
How this comment by Adam shows us the great need of the professing “Church” to seek a deep humility before God and in the presence of God. But then again, the proud heart can seek those things in name though not in reality. How much of our seeking revival is really nothing more than the seeking of self and pride? Oh the depths of our depravity which is hidden from our eyes because of pride! How we must become aware of pride and the fruit of this pride in all of life. But sadly pride will hide this from our eyes as well and we can go on sleepily on the broad road to hell though pride will convince us it is the narrow road. The heart full of pride is a heart that is lulled to sleep and death in the local church and as such is damned in the church.
God Loves... Himself 
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