God Loves… Himself

The following paragraph is from the Chief End for Which God Created the World 8 (Marriage). It is meant to give context.

We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers in much the same way as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?

The concept of Christian marriage has at best barely survived the onslaught of a form of Christian culture. Within the culture of the world marriage is a thing of feelings and convenience. While that is not a good or biblical view of marriage, I am not sure that it is any more deceptive than the popular Christian view. The so-called Christian culture has a view of marriage that is in one sense a reaction to the world’s view of marriage. The polarization started many years ago and continues on through the present day. The problem is that the biblical model is ignored on both sides, though many profess to the use of the Bible. Indeed they use the Bible, but for selfish ends.

While the culture of the world has changed the view of marriage according to its own whims and desires, the Christian culture view has changed the biblical view to one that is nothing more than behavioral and much like the view of the Pharisees. It is thought by many that a husband that does certain things according to the Bible pleases God in what he does. It is also thought that a woman that does certain things according to the Bible pleases God in what she does. The Pharisees thought they pleased God in what they did. But all of those views miss the real point which is that no one can please God and no one can keep the commands of God apart from Jesus Christ. The professing believer must understand that the commands of God regarding marriage cannot be kept any more than the Greatest Commandment can be kept perfectly and apart from the work of the Spirit in the soul. Any view or counseling technique that puts the power of obedience in the hands of sinful human beings is simply wrong.

The Christian culture of marriage has a major flaw in that it does leave the power of obedience in the power of human beings. We are told that it is a matter of choices. We are told that love is nothing more than the action and we need not worry about the feelings. While the world things that love is nothing more than feelings, many within Christianity think that it is nothing more than behavior. Both are utterly unbiblical and appalling. Love is from God and from God alone. No matter how high a view one has of marriage, it must be taught that love is not within the power of human beings but is from God alone. If one spouse does not love the other, then that person either does not know God at all or has a hardened heart. It is that plain and simple. The answer is to seek God for a broken heart and the Spirit to work love in the heart. It is not a matter of choosing to perform outward functions; it is a matter of the work of God in the soul. Each person must go to God humbly and seek Him for true love.

One of the great tragedies of marriage in the modern day is the separation of the marital counseling and theory from biblical theology. Marriage will not be seen in its biblical power until there is a return to true biblical theology. The Bible is not just a handbook on how to behave in certain areas of life; it is the revelation of the living God on how man is to live as an expression of the glory of God. The Christian view is to declare with energy and love that marriage is far beyond the powers of any and all human beings apart from Christ and the work of the Spirit. It is only then that humanity can begin to see that it is to be broken of its own strength in order to have a biblical marriage. God opposes the proud in all areas, not just some. Within the churches of the day there is a huge amount of pride in the area of marriage by people thinking it is just behavior. Only when people are humbled and broken will they live in marriage by grace. Only then will the glory of God be expressed through them.

The following paragraph is from the Chief End for Which God Created the World 8 (Marriage). It is meant to give context.

We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers in much the same way as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?

We can now look at marriage in a more direct way as it relates to the expression and manifestation of God’s glory in this world. God created all things as a way by which He may manifest His glory. He had a primary reason or terminal end for all that He did. Marriage was created by God and His terminal end or chief end was to manifest His glory. That is the guiding light for interpretation of marriage. It is not that the man and woman look at self and strive for self-realization in the marriage. It is not setting aside one person’s goals for another or both striving to be good, but it is for both to realize that in their oneness the glory of God is to shine forth from them. It seems as if most counseling revolves around a needs basis or is simply behavior modification. Both of those are simply forms of humanism. We can also encourage people to be good in marriage in order to be good moral people, but again that is humanism or moralism. We can encourage people to obey God’s commands in marriage for various reasons, but again that can be nothing but outward religion and following rules in a misguided effort to please God. All things were meant to be a way for God to manifest the beauty and majesty of His glory. All believers are to obey with the intent to manifest the glory of God out of love for His glory. Those things cannot be worked up, they can only be worked in us by the life of Christ that comes down to us.

We must fight against the idea of marriage where one person must meet the needs of the other and in doing that God is glorified. Rather than that, what we must strive for is that the husband would love His wife with the love that flows from the throne of God. The wife must lovingly submit with the life of the submissive Savior that is in her. It is only when the internal glory of God is manifested through human beings that it is His glory shining through. It is not obeying certain rules that God is glorified and honored because if the effort and strength comes from the human being then it is to their own honor. That would be nothing but another form of self-righteousness.

If marriage is nothing more than a way to be moral, then it is nothing more than the spirit of the rules of the Pharisees. God did not give us His laws and His standards within marriage as rules that we keep, but to show us that we cannot do them apart from the life of Christ in us. The husband’s duty to love cannot be kept by human strength and even within the confines for conservative religion. The duty of the wife to lovingly submit is not something that can come from self-strength, even if she is a woman with much strength. The standards that God gives for marriage are not given to people that have the strength to keep them, but they are to show us that we cannot keep them from the heart apart from His love and strength in us. It is only when His rules and principles are kept from His love and strength is His glory manifested in and through us.

If we use rules for marital bliss as nothing more than behavior modification, then we are not teaching people to live in the marriage by grace. There is no love apart from the love of God in the soul since God alone is the only source for true love (I John 4:7-8). While certain rules may in some way modify human behavior, remember that the Pharisees also had behavior modification. But instead Christianity teaches that the believer is to live by the life of Christ in the soul which is also the love that the Spirit has worked in the soul. It is only then that God’s terminal purpose in creation of expressing His glory is seen in the marriage and is not simply behavior by human strength.

The following paragraph is from the Chief End for Which God Created the World 8 (Marriage). It is meant to give context.

We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers in much the same way as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?

The fall and the following curse are vital to understanding Ephesians 5 and the chief end of God for marriage. Let us look at the curse that God placed on Eve after the fall. “To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children; yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16). While women identify with the pain of childbirth, the rest of the curse is not seen as much. The first part of the woman’s curse (which Adam has a big part of the pain in) is that she will desire her husband. But that is a rather hidden part of the curse. To get a better handle on understanding this, listen to what God told Cain in Genesis 4:7: “If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.” Using the same language, we can see that desire is to master and rule something. Sin desired Cain in the sense that it wanted to rule him and run the way he lived. Part of the curse is that the woman desires her husband and wants to rule over him.

The other side of the curse is that the man would respond to the woman’s desire to rule him by ruling over her. The same word is also used in Genesis 4:7 for what Cain was to do with sin. He was to master it and to rule over it. In other words, he was to harshly rule over sin and not let it have a foot in the door or a say in any matter. So the husband responds to the wife’s desire to rule over him with an iron fisted way of running things His way. What we see in this, therefore, is that both the man and the woman each desire to be his or her own god which is the lie of the evil one. It is this desire that we see in each human that is nothing but pride and selfishness and the desire to rule over the other. That is the desire to be god. The woman believed that she could be like God and in so doing desires to rule over the husband and to get her own way in everything. The husband responds with mastering or ruling over the woman in order to get his way. It becomes a battle of the gods in two people fighting for control.

Ephesians 5 sets out the reversal of the fall in Christ. It takes Christ to reverse that fall. Submission and love are pictures of how God works His character in people as well as shines His glory through them. The fall shows how selfishness and pride instead of love came to rule in the marriage. The fall shows how selfishness and pride instead of love and submission came to rule in the marriage. Christ shows how the fall is reversed by working in His people love and submission in the marriage. In other words, men do not love and women do not lovingly submit because of selfishness and pride. It takes the life of Christ in the man by the power of the Spirit to love the wife. It takes the life of Christ in the woman by the power of the Spirit to submit and love the husband. In other words, it takes the very outshining of the glory of God who is Christ to work these things in the hearts of men and women so that marriage would be what it was meant to be. Marriage was meant to be one means by which the glory of God would be in people and shine through them. It does not do that when pride and self are at work.

What should be seen in marriage is not Christian duty and Christian principles as such, but the very glory of God shining through people in marriage. Marriage was created not so much as a means to raise kids or to make people happy as such, but as a way that the glory of a triune God would shine through and be manifested. Men are to love and women are to submit as ways that God’s glory shines through them. That is, after all, why He created them.

The following paragraph is from the Chief End for Which God Created the World 8 (Marriage). It is meant to give context.

We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers in much the same way as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?

The thing that makes the wife submitting to her husband so hard is pride and selfishness, but perhaps something more is involved in that as well. When Adam and Eve fell in the Garden, there was a curse placed on them. All of their descendants have had to bear that curse. The curse on them and marriage is only lifted in Christ. Unbelievers, though they may think that they are believers, have a curse placed on them and their marriage. So many try hard at having Christian marriages and perform in some way the duties of them and yet do not have the reversal of the curse as only found in Christ. Jesus said that His yoke was light and His burden was easy (Mat 11:30). He also said that His commands were not burdensome (I John 5:3).

What makes the yoke of Christ not burdensome is that the believing woman has the life of Christ in her. The One who perfectly submitted to His Father is the One who is working that life in her. The One who perfectly submitted to His Father is the One who is on the other side of the yoke doing the work. Since submission to a husband is really submission to God, Christ works that submission in the woman that is submitted to Him from the heart. The believer must submit to Christ from the heart in order to submit to another human in truth and love. When Christ is doing the work of submission in the heart and life of the woman, submission is not a burden but is an act of love to Christ. It is also the giving of the body and soul as His instrument of glory in the world as He created it to be.

I Peter shows how submission should be: “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external– braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear” (3:1-6).

As we see this text lived out we can see the glory of Christ shining through the woman. It was in perfect submission to the Father that the glory of Christ shone through. He told his disciples that all men will know that you are My disciples if you have love for each other (John 13:35). When a woman truly submits to Christ through her husband and that from the heart, it is plain for others to see that there is a different power in that woman. The behavior shows a power that Christ alone can put there. A chaste and respectful behavior shows the life of Christ. It is a gentle and quiet spirit toward the husband which only flows from the hearts of women who have Christ. Notice that in verse 5 it says (taking out the commas) that holy women who hoped in God adorned themselves with submission to their husbands. The beauty of Christ in a woman is put on with submission to Him by submitting to the husband and in that the glory of the submissive Savior shines through the woman. Women were made to glorify God as all are created to manifest the glory of God. Submission to the husband is one main way that the glory of God shines through Christ and then through the woman. It is His chief end in creating human beings.

The following paragraph is from the Chief End for Which God Created the World 8 (Marriage). It is meant to give context.

We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers in much the same way as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?

The third particular in marriage is that of God’s command that the wife to submit to the husband as the Church is to submit to Christ. This is not a popular teaching in the culture of today. In fact, it is mocked and despised as are virtually all of the real teachings of Scripture. However, what is mocked is perhaps a misrepresentation of what is taught and it is certainly from a humanistic perspective. Why does culture mock and despise the biblical command for wives to submit to husbands? Within each human heart there is the idea that comes from pride and independence that “I answer to no one else.” The fall has had terrible effects on marriage. The real issue is that unbelieving women do not see that they are to submit to God first and foremost. That is the real problem.

God created all things as a means to communicate and display His own glory. Whatever else we do, we must get that basic thought driven into the depths of our souls. No human being is completely independent of other human beings, though some like to think so. That is because God has created human beings to display His glory in the Trinity. The Persons of the Trinity exists in perfect union and love. Marriage should be a reflection of that. As the second Person of the Trinity submitted perfectly to the Father though they were equal in power and glory, so the wife is to submit to her husband. In doing this she is carrying out her created purpose.

It seems as if people think of the submission of the wife as being much like the submission of a dog. Instead of the dog doing what it wants, it should sit and lay down as the master wants. It is to follow the command of its master each and every moment. This is, of course, before the days of animal rights. But the expression of the glory of the Trinity does not give us that teaching. Within the Trinity the Father and the Son have one common goal and that is the communication and display of the glory of God. The Son submitted to the Father out of love while knowing that He was perfectly loved and that this submission was to carry out the purpose of the Trinity which was the glory of God. There is no groveling and carrying out arbitrary commands. There is the perfect and mutual love in being focused on the chief and terminal desire of the triune God and that is to manifest His glory.

The command for the husband to love his wife and the command for the wife to submit to her husband fit together as aspects of marriage which are there to show forth the glory of God. The wife that fights submission to her husband is really fighting submission to God. The passage tells us that the wife is to submit to the husband as to the Lord: “22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything” (Eph 5:22-24). In submitting to her husband the wife is proclaiming who her real Lord is, and that is Christ. When the wife does not submit to her husband, she is showing that she is her own lord and she will obey herself.

Marriage was planned by God as a way to manifest His glory on earth. The submission of the wife to the husband with the proper attitude is the display of true character and beauty, that is, it is to be like Christ in His submission to His Father. When the believing wife lovingly submits to her husband, the glory of God is shining through her.

The following paragraph is from the Chief End for Which God Created the World 8. It is meant to give context.

“We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?”

Last time we looked at the text which tells us that the husband is to love the wife as Christ loved the Church (Eph 5:25-30). If we look at the issue of loving as something that flows from the character of God instead of behavior alone of some form of elevated feelings, we can see that loving and therefore marriage is in some way linked with the life and love of God in the person and in the marriage. So last time we looked at I John 4:7-12 and tried to look at the source of love. Now we must link the source of love to that of love in the marriage and of God’s terminal purpose or chief end in creating all things and especially human beings.

What we want to see at the moment is that the command to love as Christ loved is not a new command in Scripture. We see it in other passages and other contexts. For example, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another” (John 13:34). John 15 also gives us the same language: 9 “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.” 10 “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. 11 “These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. 12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.”

We can see from the above text that God’s love is the standard for how to love one another. The Church has been loved by Christ “just as the Father has loved Me.” The command and standard to love one another is to do that “just as I have loved you.” To love a wife as Christ loved the Church is to love the wife as the Father loved Christ. Christ had as His model and as the life of love in Him the love of the Father. This shows us very clearly that the Father of love is God the Father and His love flows to human beings through Christ. We can see this in another way from Ephesians 5:1-2: “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; 2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.” The command to love any other human beings is always just as Christ loved and as He was loved. But if this is true, does that mean that a husband has no greater obligation to love his wife than to any other human being?

We must be very careful while admitting that all believers are to love all other believers as Christ loved them. He loved as He was loved by the Father. But within the marriage there is a special intimacy which is reserved for and is to be between the husband and the wife. The husband is to love His wife and is to be one with His wife as Christ loved His Bride (the Church) and is one with Her. As the husband and wife are counted as one and are to live in a oneness of love and unity, this is to picture what Christ is to the Church. Unbelievers should be able to see the oneness of Christ and His Church when they see the Church. The love of Christ for His Bride is not in unbelievers. As I John 4:7-8 sets out, only those that are born of God and know God have the love of God in them and actually love with real love. It is not that God does not have a general benevolence toward the world, but that He does not unite Himself to the world in love. But He does unite Himself and becomes one with His people in Christ and by the Spirit. The husband is to give himself to the wife and desire unity in love with her. In this the glory of Christ and His love for the Church should be seen. In this God’s chief end is seen in the display of His love.

The following paragraph is from the Chief End for Which God Created the World 8 (Marriage). It is meant to give context.

We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers in much the same way as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?

The third particular in marriage is that of God’s command for man to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. How did Christ love the Church? He gave Himself for her so that His love would dwell in Her. He gave Himself for Her so that the love of God would dwell in Her and so that He could give Her Himself in love and live within Her and be one with Her so that She would have His love and that love would flow from the Father through Him to His bride and then back to the Father through Him. What we see in the love of Christ for the Church is a love that gives itself and not just things. It gives itself so that His Church can have what is very best and that is the love of God dwelling in Her. Christ did not just do something for the Church, but He gave Himself for Her so that the love of the Father would be in Her and that He would live in Her.

Boiled down, what we do that is not an expression of the indwelling glory of God is selfishness and pride. When a husband does not love his wife with a biblical love, that is selfishness and pride which is to say that the husband values himself and his own ease rather than the Bible and the glory of God. Biblical love is far more than just actions as is commonly taught. It is also far more than having exalted feelings. To love another is ultimately to have the love of God in the heart and to express that love toward others. It is to have God’s love for Himself in us and for God’s love to work itself in us and then through us.

We must know that I John 4:7-12 is key to this thought. “7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.”

The text above should be at the center of all teaching on love. Why should believers love one another? The text tells us that we should love one another because love is from God. Don’t miss a vital point of this text. Love is from God, that is, even the love that one human has for another is from God. Love is not just a behavior, it is something that has its source in God and God is the only source for love. We see more proof of that as we go on in the text. “Everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.” In other words, the only people who truly love are connected to love by being born of God and having eternal life which is to know God. Knowing God is to be in an intimate relation with God. Only believers love and have a capacity for God and His love. Therefore, those who do not love in this way do not know God. Without going into verses 9-10, we can see that Christ came and took away man’s sin so that the love of God would and could dwell in man. The text then goes on to say that “if God so loved us, we also out to love one another.” We can see from what has went on before that God so loved us by sending His Son to die for His people so that they could have the new birth and know God. That entails the love of God abiding in them, that is, the God who is love abiding in them. God gave Himself from love to express His love in human beings so that His terminal end of manifesting His glory would be accomplished.

The following paragraph is from the Chief End for Which God Created the World 8 (Marriage). It is meant to give context.
We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers in much the same way as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?

The second particular of marriage is sex. Scripture does teach that it is good to have a spouse because of immoralities (I Cor 7:1-5). So we are told that one purpose of marriage is to keep people from immorality. We know that is true to a degree, but is that God’s terminal purpose of marriage? Is God’s highest purpose for marriage simply to keep people from being sexually immoral? What is the purpose of sexual purity in the first place? Being sexually moral is not morality in and of itself. There is a higher purpose for this and it is part of the created order that God has put into creation. In the previous BLOG I asserted that a loving marriage (can only happen within true Christianity) reflects some aspects of the Trinity in which God lives as one God in three Persons. Sexual activity, then, must in some way reflect the Trinity as well. We must always keep in mind that God’s terminal purpose in creation is to express and manifest His own glory and that through human beings.

We must continue to force our minds and hearts back to God’s terminal purpose in and for marriage. It is to be an instrumental means to display His glory. The whole purpose of creation, humanity, and then marriage comes from God’s terminal goal. No part of human activity is what it is meant to be apart from that terminal goal or end of God’s. How does sexual activity within marriage glorify God? Again we must go back to the Trinity. Within the Trinity we have an eternal and ever blessed love that flows between the Persons of the Trinity. It is such that the triune God is described in Scripture with the words “God is love.” There is an intimacy between the Father and the Son that is a mutual love and delight. Within the oneness of the Father and Son there is perfect and eternal joy and pleasure in being One. Sexual activity within marriage is to picture that unity of love and joy.

The sexual activity of believers should be different than that of believers. Believers limit sexual activity within marriage, not because sex is dirty, but because of God and the display of His glory. God the Father and God the Son have an intimate love that cannot be shared in the fullness of its intimacy and joy. They are one and are one in a way that cannot be imitated perfectly. It is the intimacy that only two infinite and perfect Beings can share. However, in marriage the intimacy of love and joy is to be shared in the sexual relationship as an expression of the glory of God and even a sharing in the love and joy of God. With believers the love that they share comes from God and is an expression of the love of God for God. Even more, believers are the bride of Christ and the intimacy that spouses have in some way display the intimacy of the Son with His bride in that He is giving His love and intimate joy to His bride and not to the world. In contrast to that, the sexual activity of unbelievers is all about self.

While what has been said may be confusing, it is an attempt to look at an issue from the light that comes from God’s terminal purpose in all things. God’s purpose is to shine His glory through creation and especially through His people. Sexual activity cannot be apart from that. True love has only one source and that is from God and it is only available to those that are united to Christ by faith. When two believers are united to Christ by faith, that faith receives and works true love. When the bride of Christ receives the love of God through Christ by the Spirit, the love that flows is then the display of the glory of His love. When a believing couple is intimate and His love is flowing in and between them, God is delighted at the display of His love and joy and His terminal purpose is seen.

The next issue to meditate on in relation to what God created the world for is marriage. There are many marriage counselors in the world that deal with marriage on a humanistic level, but to be accurate about marriage it must be examined in light of the purpose for which God created the world. It must be kept in mind that the terminal (chief purpose or end) purpose for marriage for human beings must be in accordance with God’s terminal purpose. Marriage is not a terminal (chief end) purpose that all things are to point to, but the glory of God is the terminal purpose. In other words, marriage is an instrumental purpose that God has to bring about His terminal purpose. The real reason for marriage, then, is to manifest and display the glory of God.

We need to look at the big picture for a moment before we have a short look at some of the particulars. If we desire marriage for selfish and self-centered considerations, then we do not desire the glory of God and the true good of the other. Most marriage counseling appears to be done on a needs basis, that is, that one spouse is to meet the needs of the other. Other forms of counseling are more behavior oriented and verses are prescribed as behavior modifiers as medical doctors prescribe medication. The one says meeting the needs of the other glorifies God and the second says that certain behavior glorifies God. But does it really do that? Do certain behaviors in and of themselves glorify God according to His terminal purpose for humanity and all of creation?

The first particular is that of companionship. Genesis 2:18 tells us that God said that it was not good for man to be alone so He created a helper for the man. But why was it not good for man to be alone? If we ask that question from a human oriented way we will arrive at a different answer than if we ask the question believing that the answer should align with the terminal reason that God created all humans. If we ask why it was not good for a man to be alone from the human orientation we will come up with the answer that the man needs help. We would then believe that the woman is only there to help the man because man would have been lonely and could not have accomplished what he wanted to without the woman.

Let us look at the first particular from God’s terminal purpose of displaying His own glory for His own pleasure. The man would have been created for God’s glory with God’s full knowledge that He would create the woman and together they would be the image of God. “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth'” (Gen 1:26-28).

God did not create the woman later on because He did not foresee that the man would be lonely and had a need that He (God) could not fulfill. He created human beings as male and female because together they express His glory in a way that is different than one could. This is not to say that single people are not and cannot be complete, but simply that God has designed marriage as one instrument through which to display His glory. God’s glory is the beauty of His perfections and the outshining of those. God exists as one God in three Persons. The Trinity, then, exists in communion and love. Marriage is to be a picture of some aspect of God’s glory. It is to picture how God lives in love and harmony within the Trinity. When a man and a woman come together and are one, that is a picture of the character of God in that He is multiple Persons and yet One. In a believing marriage where there is mutual love and that love flows between the partners, that is a marriage where the love of God is moving and He is glorified both by the love and by the picture of the Trinity that exists in the couple. In a couple where the hearts have been knit together in love, the glory of God shines and His terminal purpose for them is accomplished.

Much is spoken of today regarding praise and worship. Churches fight and even split over what is termed “styles of worship.” To put it bluntly and with the risk of being harsh, if people were really concerned with the worship of God there would be more battles regarding reverence and the heart and a lot less over “styles of worship.” If our real desire is to praise and worship God, our chief concern is that God would be glorified in the praise and worship and not that it must be done according to my own pleasure. In reality, what goes as worship in many circles reeks of self-worship and not the worship of God. Praise and worship is part of the created purpose that God of man and can never be apart from God’s own chief and ultimate goal (terminal) displaying His own glory through all things.

Praise to God should happen throughout every day and we are to worship in all that we do. We create problems when we try to limit those Christian activities to an hour or two a week inside a building where the church is to meet. We then try to focus the so-called worship on what people want. Even in reading those words in the previous sentence should make us choke. The object and focus of worship is to please God and not human beings. We have it exactly backwards. Praise and worship is meant to display the glory of God in accordance with His created purpose for us. When human beings take worship and make it all about self and our feelings, that is nothing but the worship of self. Let me put this in a different way. Modern humanity has taken what we call worship and have shaped and fitted it to please ourselves. We then expect God to be pleased with what we are pleased with because we use His name in it and ostensibly claim to worship Him. True worship is to praise and worship God according to how He wants to be worshipped and to have our hearts broken so that we are pleased with what He is pleased with. As previously said, modern human beings have it exactly backwards.

When human beings go to buildings where the church is supposed to meet and do things that are called worship but really only please self, that is nothing but the worship of self. God created all things and that includes human beings to display and manifest His glory. Yet human beings want to worship God as they see fit and to do what they like in worship. I call it worship because it is still worship, but rather than the worship of God it is the worship of self. Who cares if there are instruments or not if God is truly being worshipped? If we would be more consumed with God than with our own preferences the differences would mostly just disappear at the throne of God. When human beings worship self in the name of the worship of God then what is really going on is that many gods engage in battle over who is to receive the worship. It might be over likes, preferences, tastes, comfort level, and tradition, but it is over MY likes, preferences, tastes, and comfort. But we keep forgetting that we were created to worship that the glory of God would be manifested through us. It is not primarily about us, but Him and His glory.

I will perhaps be accused of personal preference at this point, but there must be gratitude, reverence and awe in the worship of God or it is not worship (Heb 12:28). It must also be in spirit and truth (John 4:24). Much of today’s so-called worship shows little reverence and awe if it has truth. That which has truth shows little spirit and little awe. Again, worship is the obedient and loving response of the creature to its Creator in love. All of the feelings (called emotions in the modern day) that can be raised do not mean something is worship. It just means that the feelings are raised. The affections (as Edwards called them) are to be raised in worship but they must be raised in response to the truth and according to the working of the Holy Spirit. When the affections are raised by music or by shouting and chanting, they just might be from self and not the Spirit. Singing and chanting words to loud music, even when the participants are joyful and shouting words of praise to God, are not things that necessarily point to true worship of God. The people can simply have high and exalted feelings at religious things and they believe they are worshipping because of the highly exalted feelings. Just because the name of God is on the lips and the affections are high does not mean that the Spirit has raised those affections by the truth. God is only exalted and glorified in praise and worship when the heart out of love for His glory truly praises Him for who He is and not just for what He has done for me. That alone is worship according to His created purpose for humanity.