God Loves… Himself

Reformation is the object we pretend to aim at, but we are perpetually mistaking the subject of it; it is ourselves. It is dreadful (but perhaps not uncommon) self-deceit to present ourselves before God with a lie in our mouths, and hypocrisy in our heart, or a secret unwillingness to be and to do as we pray. (Thomas Adam, Private Thoughts on Religion)

“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

The heart is so deceitful that it can see the need of reformation in others and at the same time be blinded to its own need, and perhaps its greater need. The heart is so deceitful that it can see a need to reform from a sin of the heart or deed and yet only desire to go part of the way toward a true repentance and reformation. In other words, it seems that because of our self-deceit we will accept some measure of repentance as a true repentance and some measure of reformation as true reformation. To put it differently yet again, because of self-deceit we are willing to accept partial repentance which is no repentance at all and are willing to accept a partial reformation which is not a reformation at all in terms of what is pleasing to God. Our hearts are full of self-love and pride which makes them deceitful and as such will be satisfied with the slightest reformation and repentance and think of them as true. But God does not accept a repentance or a reformation that is partial.

The honest heart knows that it is too easily satisfied with the first appearance of repentance and reformation and it is pleased with the appearance rather than the reality of it. True repentance and true reformation are costly in terms of pain and suffering and the heart full of self does not want to go through those things. Jesus commands people to deny self and follow Him, and despite what people say today a person must deny self in order to follow Him. If a person does not deny self then a person follows the fleshly self where it wants to go and does not go where the flesh does not want to go. But the person that follows Christ follows Christ follows Christ where He goes and does not go where Christ does not want to go. Either Christ or the flesh will be denied and the other will be followed.

Matthew 13:20 “The one on whom seed was sown on the rocky places, this is the man who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21 yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he falls away. 22 “And the one on whom seed was sown among the thorns, this is the man who hears the word, and the worry of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.

In Matthew 13 we see that the seed is sown in various soils and there are differing results. Regardless of how a person immediately responds to the Word the heart will eventually follow the flesh if the heart has not been changed. Many will receive the word with joy and that immediately, and yet when affliction or persecution arises because of the Word that person will immediately fall away. The problem is that the person did not truly repent of self and instead served self, so when the person heard the Word and it sounded good to self, the person followed self and had joy. But when problems came because of the Word, the person turned from the Word and followed self once again. The person had never denied self at any point.

The same thing is true of the person who heard the Word and appeared to follow it for a while, perhaps for a longer time. But at some point the worry of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth came alone and choked out the word. This is another way of showing how self will follow Christ until the person begins to worry more about the world and the wealth of the world. Once again we see the issue of self. As long as Christ appears to be better than the world, self may want to follow Christ. But when the world and wealth come around and they appear better than Christ, the self exerts itself and follows the world and wealth. The person may not quit going to church and may still claim to be a Christian, but the person is now clearly following self and trying to use Christ to gain things for self rather than using self to gain the glory of God in the face of Christ. Oh the deception of self-love and pride.

Reformation is the object we pretend to aim at, but we are perpetually mistaking the subject of it; it is ourselves. It is dreadful (but perhaps not uncommon) self-deceit to present ourselves before God with a lie in our mouths, and hypocrisy in our heart, or a secret unwillingness to be and to do as we pray. (Thomas Adam, Private Thoughts on Religion)

“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

The real issue of the reformation of the heart is that for all theological persuasions this must be done by grace alone. This is as impossible to attain for the theological Calvinist as it is for the Pelagian as well. If we try to attain to a reformation of the heart by our own works and attitudes, we are sure to fail. Not only is it hard to change our own hearts and reform our own hearts in accordance with Scripture, it is impossible. That is why people are so prone to do the outward things and be deceived by those rather than work on the heart. Grace alone can change the heart and grace alone can reform the heart. When something is done by grace alone, it is done at the mere pleasure of God as to when it is done and if it is done at all. In America, however, we look for methods to attain it.

It is one thing to state that we want to see a work of reformation going on in the church, but it is quite another to really want a real work of reformation to happen in the church. It is one thing to state that I want a work of reformation in my own heart, but it is quite another to truly desire real reformation of the heart. A real reformation in the church would require that all bow before God and seek Him and anything He wants rather than just some life come to what we want so that the church would grow. A desire for real reformation in the church would be a group of people dying to self and seeking His glory by grace alone and not just by words. A real reformation in the heart of a particular person requires that God do the work as He pleases and when He pleases. Instead of reforming the heart in an easy way or manner and in a way that does not disturb the ease of life and reputation of the person seeking reformation, God may destroy (at least outwardly) the ease of life and reputation of the person through trials and hardships. In order for God to reform a heart He must break it from all the things it needs reformation from. This work will be a work of grace and it may be painful and it may take years. Few really want this.

For a person to desire true reformation of the heart (and that must be before any true reformation of the church) that person must desire God to do as He pleases, how He pleases, and when He pleases. It is a heart that sees how corrupt it is and how much it opposes God and His pleasure in all things, but especially in the things of religion. It is a heart that sees that it cannot conquer itself and that grace must do it as grace is pleased to do so. If grace does not break a heart and conquer it, that heart will always remain conquered by sin and self regardless of how religious it is. It must be broken and humbled by God, but also be brought into absolute subjection to God by the hand of God. Until the enemies in the land were subdued by Israel, they could not dwell in peace in the land. The same (by analogy) is true of the heart. Unless God subdues that heart He cannot dwell in peace in that heart.

Until the soul is broken, humbled, and lying in absolute subjection to God it will hide its pride and its true poverty under the guise or lie of religion and reformation. The heart will hide itself to others and itself in all forms, manners, and works of religion. The proud self knows it is sinful to be proud and so it will seek a form of humility to hide its pride under. The self knows it is wrong to be selfish and so it will seek to hide self in the forms of many works that have the appearance of humility. The heart desires to have the appearance of humility rather than humility itself and so deceives itself with the appearance. The breaking of the heart from its pride and self requires the unmasking of it by God and it does not want to appear naked, selfish, and proud because of its pride. But those things must be flushed out of hiding so that grace will work death in the soul to those things.

Oh how easy it is to find refuge in the appearances of good things and hide our hearts from others and ourselves. While the things of God are great and even necessary things, they seem to be mainly used as ways to deceive our hearts from being opened and then broken by God. It is a terrible thing to be satisfied with the appearance of humility when only the truly humble receive grace. It is a terrible thing to be satisfied with the appearance of holiness as only the holy of heart will see God. While there are many zealous people in our day seeking some kind of reformation, there are few that desire a true reformation of the heart by grace alone. Yet that is the only kind.

Reformation is the object we pretend to aim at, but we are perpetually mistaking the subject of it; it is ourselves. It is dreadful (but perhaps not uncommon) self-deceit to present ourselves before God with a lie in our mouths, and hypocrisy in our heart, or a secret unwillingness to be and to do as we pray. (Thomas Adam, Private Thoughts on Religion)

“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

We claim that we want to be better, but our heart is so deceitful the claim is made despite the real desires of the heart and the actions that follow. This leads us to talk about reformation of self and perhaps a church, but the talk about it is really what we use to deceive ourselves into thinking that we really want it. We want the church to reform as we want it and we want others to reform so that they could be as we would want, but all this does is allow self to change some without real reformation heart and life. In other words, the cry for revival and/or reformation can be a way that we hide our hearts from ourselves so as not to be truly humbled before the living God.

The same is true of churches becoming more and more committed (in word, anyway) to evangelism. The outward action of evangelism can (and often is) be used to hide the sinfulness of our hearts to us and so it keeps us from real reformation of heart and life and so from true evangelism as well. When we say we desire things and can actually perform the outward actions without a change of heart, we are pretending to aim at that thing and then using that thing to hide our own hearts from us. The Pharisees were masters at religious actions and activities and yet they were deceived by those actions and activities into thinking that they were righteous. They were deceived by those things and their vile hearts were hidden from them.

It would appear in our day that we have a vast number of churches and individuals that are calling for moral reformation, doctrinal reformation, and many other types of reformations as such. But when we consider the facts of what people and churches appear to be actually seeking reformation of the heart by grace alone, it certainly raises the question of how many are truly seeking reformation versus how many are using the words and some actions to hide their own hearts from themselves.

It is possible for a person to preach the truth in words and actually desire some form of reformation and yet use those things to hide his own heart from himself and so keep himself from true reformation. As the Pharisees hid their hearts from themselves by an outward appearance of zeal for righteousness, so preachers can hide their hearts from themselves by an outward zeal (and perhaps an inward desire of some kind for it) for reformation of some sort and preaching on it.

Denominations can hide what is really needed (such as a true reformation in some or many ways) by focusing on moral issues of the day. Roman Catholicism had a moral reformation shortly after the Protestant Reformation and appeared satisfied without a theological and doctrinal reformation regarding the Gospel. So modern day denominations can make great moral proclamations and put out a renewed emphasis on evangelism (though theologically vacuous form of evangelism) and in doing so hide from itself what really needs to be done. When that happens, as the Pharisees, they will cross land and sea to make one convert and make that one convert twice the son of hell as they are.

There can be theological or practical affiliations or agreements that appear to be a reformation of some kind, yet that can do nothing but hide the hearts of men who love an external unity more than they do the truth. One can seek reformation under the guise of these agreements, but the heart can be willing to sell the truth at a cheap price instead of standing for the truth and that may require a higher price in terms of popularity or respect in certain places. This is simply another way that men can say that they are aiming at reformation and yet their actions at seemingly seeking it do nothing in reality but hide their own hearts from themselves which should be the real focus of reformation. How deceptive the hearts of men are, and at times it seems especially when they are pursuing moral issues and reformation of some kind that does not major on their own hearts.

When we see and judge rightly of the guilt and malignity of sin, still it is with a great reserve of tenderness for ourselves, and we chiefly mean the sin of others. Thus instead of reforming, every one excuses one. (Thomas Adam, Private Thoughts on Religion)

“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

It is far easier to see sin in others than ourselves, at least if we are governed or even influenced by self-love and a desire to excuse ourselves, justify ourselves, or rationalize our own motives for sin and even the deeds themselves. King David stands as the example of those who condemn behavior (even with anger and indignation) that is far less than our own sin which we have condoned and excused away. We can be agitated and rightly indignant about the sin of others because we see the action for what it is and do not take into account their motives, though if we saw their motives we would think that they were bad too and have a hard time understanding how they could excuse such wicked behavior. But if “I” committed the same action with basically the same motives, “I” would excuse my behavior or at least assign mitigating factors to it because of those motives or intents.

The tenderness we show toward our own sin is remarkable when we see how react against the sin of others when it is against our own self-love. When we see the sin of others, especially if it has negative results for ourselves, we will impute the worst of motives to them. However, if we do the same act toward them we will impute the best of motives to ourselves and thus excuse our behavior and our attitude. This leads to the point by Adam, that instead of reforming we all excuse one person, which is to say each one excuses himself or herself. That keeps a person from reforming self and leaves the person with the desire to reform others, but when all are reforming others and not self, that means that no one is left to actually reform.

When every person is driven by self-love rather than love for God and his or her neighbors, this will result in judgmental attitudes or very “flexible” attitudes. Both are really driven by the same heart of self and self-love. If self-love drives a person to be very rigid in certain areas, then self-love will judge the motives of others who do not follow that line of thinking and be harsh in attitude and judgment toward them. If a person from self-love is very flexible and nonchalant in an area, then self-love will drive that person to be very flexible and nonchalant in his or her judgment of others who have the same attitude, but this will also move that person to be very judgmental against those who are rigid in that same area. Self judges all but itself and will not reform while at the same time it wants all others to reform to its own standard.

Pride and its parallel of the justification of self will lead to great sin in the refusal to see our own sin, which means that it is really a refusal to repent. One can see how the justification of self in the practice of a sin is opposite to confessing sin and bowing to the sovereign grace of God in justification. But we can also see how the refusal to see the chief sin of self-love and pride will lead one to repent of self-love and pride which will then lead to a great blindness in all other areas. As long as self-love and pride rule in a person or at least have much sway at all the conviction of sin and repentance and reformation will not be possible. This great sin of self (self-love and pride) keeps a person in great darkness about his or her sin and also keeps a person in bondage to sin. It can be very judgmental and very hard on sin in others, but it is very tender toward self. The heart that is tender toward self can also become tender toward the sins of others and actually just begin to dismiss sin in many or all areas. Thus it is easy to see how self-love in one way or the other will lead to excusing of sin and no true reformation will occur.

The need for broken hearts and people who learn to cry out to God for deliverance from self and its blinding influence is greatly needed. We can also see how people, churches, and nations grow blind to sin and are turned over to more and more sin. We can also see how preachers that do not deal with the issues of sin from the heart are not really dealing with sin more than a slight scratch on the surface. One can turn from outward sin and not turn from sin at all. Turning from outward sin can be nothing more than a way to excuse other sin. How God must show grace or sin will reign in all of its deceitful ways. Our proud hearts that are full of self will move us to be more and more rigid or more and more toward dismissing of sin. Both are rebellion against God and are fruits of self-love and pride which is/are the essence of sin.

We are often so much concerned about the appearance of happiness, as never to cast one thought toward the reality of it. (Thomas Adam, Private Thoughts on Religion)

“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

The fallen human soul is far more concerned with appearances of most things rather than the reality of them. The fallen human soul would rather appear humble before others than to truly have humility. The concern of many at social gatherings is to appear happy and jolly, yet the reality is far from that. It could be considered a lie when we represent ourselves to others as one thing when it is not true of us. It could also be said that a person finds a short moment of happiness is making others think that s/he is happy when in a social setting. This, of course, reaches to the heart of true Christianity as well.

People want to be thought of as happy or at least pleased in attending prayer meetings and other religious activities. It would not be a good thing if others think that “I” am unhappy in attending to my religious activities. Fallen human nature wants to be thought of as happy in what it is supposed to enjoy doing, not to mention happy in doing religious things because we are commanded to love God with all of our being and even commanded to rejoice in Him several times. But again, this gets at an essential part of human corruption in wanting to appear a certain and acceptable way before others. In a very real sense a person that wants to appear happy when s/he is not is much the same as a person that prays with certain methods in order to appear a certain way, or a person that gives money for the appearance or even a person that does his or her fasting in order to appear a certain way before others. It is all from the same root of hypocrisy.

The whole issue of wanting to appear a certain way before other human beings comes from a desire to receive honor or to be thought of in a certain way, though it can also come from a desire to think of self in a certain way as well. Striving to appear happy (as opposed to have real happiness) before others can be a desire for others to think of “me” as happy or it can be me wanting to appear happy in order to make me happy. It can also be both the desire to appear happy to others and to be happy in wanting to appear happy.

In the modern world Robert Schuller and John Piper have written a lot on the subject of happiness and joy, so in certain circles it is thought to be spiritual to have great joy. This just exasperates the problem and so people think they are spiritual when they have joy and as such they desire to have joy in order to convince themselves and/or others that they are spiritual. Once again, however, people desire to appear to have joy rather than to seek true joy itself. It is so easy to convince self that it has joy when it is always trying to give the appearance of it to others.

It is nothing but pride and self in the heart that can desire to appear something before others and not have the reality of it. Why would a person want to appear as happy before others and yet desire that appearance more than the reality of having that happiness? It can be nothing but pride in appearances before others and perhaps worse than that it can be pride in spiritual appearances. What a horrible thing it is to want to appear happy in the things of Christ when one does not really desire Christ. It is Christ alone by His Spirit that can bring true joy into the soul. All else is nothing but pseudo-joy or a fleeting appearance of it. So the desire to just appear happy rather than have true happiness is in reality the act of a proud heart that desires to be its own source of joy and happiness. It is rebellion against God in that man wants to obtain for self what God alone can give.

Certainly, in a general way, the best mere moral characters are only what any one may be, and all prudent person at all times would be, if Christ had never come into the world. (Thomas Adam, Private Thoughts on Religion)

“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

The quote above gets at a vital issue of the utter and absolute importance of what it means to live by grace and in His strength. Even people who are devoted to hours of prayer a day can be living as if Christ had never come into the world. Even those who devote themselves to the so-called spiritual disciplines can be living as if Christ had never come into the world. Even those who are thought of as fiery and aggressive evangelists can be living a if Christ had never come into the world. One can be an orthodox preacher and have a large congregation and still live and preach as if Christ had never come into the world. One can be a seminary professor and still live as if Christ had never come into the world to save sinners and be the life of His people.

Christianity is not about living moral and prudent lives, it is about living to the glory of God while on earth and then with Him forever. The very best of human morality is nothing more and can be nothing more than the work of human flesh and flesh and blood cannot please God. The very best of human morality can never have God for its motive and so it would be nothing more than a splendid idolatry. This is to say very strongly that apart from Christ saving a human being and the Spirit dwelling in that human being there is nothing that human being can do but sin. But to put this strongly once again, the very best of human morality is nothing more than splendid idolatry and to be at enmity and at odds with God and His purposes for the universe and humanity.

The doctrine of the depravity and inability of man is not just a doctrine, but it is the truth about the inner parts of man and of the reality of what is going on with human souls. When Jesus said in John 15:5 that “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing,” He meant it. No one can do the slightest good in the eyes of God unless s/he is united to Christ and that person is abiding in Christ and receiving grace and life from Christ. While it is not obvious that all a person does is evil because there is some external things that appear to be good taking place, those things are simply another form of evil. God did not create human beings so that they could be good in their own strength, but that they would manifest His glory and the only way that can be done is by and through Christ.

While it seems so hard for people who have heard nothing but the drivel coming from what appears to be the vast majority of modern pulpits and books, there could be no true morality (holiness) coming from a human being unless Christ had come to the earth. There would be no regenerated sinners who alone can know God and love God. Apart from love for God, all that a person does is idolatry. There would be no hearts cleansed from sin and so all that a heart could do would be to love self and sin. If Christ had not come to this planet then there would be no Holy Spirit for His people who alone can work love and joy in the human heart apart from which there is no morality at all. If Christ had not come to this planet then there would be no human being united to Him and as such there would be nothing from Him to bear true fruit. Apart from true fruit, man would have nothing to be done by him or through him that would please God. This shows quite clearly that apart from Christ there would be no morality at all and the best morals and morality that men have today without Christ is to live as if Christ had never come into the world.

Certainly, in a general way, the best mere moral characters are only what any one may be, and all prudent person at all times would be, if Christ had never come into the world. (Thomas Adam, Private Thoughts on Religion)

“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

One question that each person should ask him or herself is whether s/he is living in such a way that s/he could live if Christ had never come into the world. In other words, are we living by mere human strength and motives in being moral? Are we doing what we do out of a desire to appear moral in the eyes of other people or perhaps simply not to have a bad reputation? Do we refrain from sin because we don’t want to go to pay the costs of the court or of going to jail?

Even some of the pagan philosophers wrote about moral laws and lived outwardly moral lives. The devil is not concerned about morality and prudence in the world, but what he fights is the glory of God in the world. As long as people are living moral lives, even extremely ordered moral lives, he does not care and will even encourage that. After all, the Pharisees were very moral and very religious and Jesus told them that they were children of the devil. The devil fights the gospel of grace alone rather than a gospel that allows for works and human decisions. The devil fights against true holiness because in it the glory of God is shining forth. But the devil loves it when people live in their own strength and wisdom while living moral and prudent lives.

What an awful question it is, but each person must ask him or herself if s/he is living in such a way as to require grace and supernatural power to do so. If people are doing nothing but living within the power of human nature and that is all the morality they have and do, even if it is a lofty morality above the common mortal, it is nothing but what the devil is pleased with and is nothing but sin. Jesus told the people in the Sermon on the Mount that unless their righteousness exceeded or surpassed that of the scribes and Pharisees, they would not enter the kingdom. How can one surpass the righteousness of the stringent scribes and Pharisees? It takes an inner righteousness that can only come from God.

The scribes and Pharisees were children of the devil and yet they strove in terms of outward morality. It must be shouted from the rooftops that outward morality will not do it in the slightest, but in fact one of the greatest forms of immorality that can be found is a person proud and arrogant enough to think that s/he is moral in his or her own strength. Human beings must learn to define evil as God defines evil and when they do they will see that all outward righteousness apart from a heart cleansed by the blood of Christ and the power of the Spirit in the soul is nothing but the foulest and blackest sin.

Whatever it is that people do that is not to the glory of God and not out of a true motive of love for God, that is sin. For a true moral action to occur by a human being that human being must be born again, be cleansed by the blood of Christ, have the imputed righteousness of Christ, and then have the work be the fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is utterly impossible for a person to do one good deed or work apart from Christ being in that person and the life of Christ by His Spirit flowing out of that person and the good deed coming from that.

A person that is living in the natural human strength, even if it is strongly moral and strongly religious, is one of the most vile people on earth. It is a terrible thing to find people, even very religious people who are crying out ‘Lord, Lord” day after day, living in their own strength and as if Christ had never come to the planet to save sinners from themselves. This is something like Paul telling people that they were living without God in the world. Apart from living by grace in reality and not just as a religious figment of our imagination, we live as without God in the world and as if Christ had never come into the world. Yet that is precisely what false religions really teach. They teach a religion that in reality does not depend and rely upon Christ coming into the world. That is also what many do who have the true doctrines of Christianity, attend church, take the Lord’s Supper; and yet they live in and by their own strength. How sin and evil blinds the mind and soul to what sin and evil truly are.